Hatfield Marine Science Center

In March, I took all my kids to the Homeschool Day at the Hatfield Marine Science Center. We were late a missed the first class, which is a real bummer since I had paid for it and couldn't get any reimbursement.

So the when we arrived, we had a picnic outside and had to wait for the next class to start.

Angel and Julianna were too young to participate in the classes, so we spent the day hanging out amidst the Science Center exhibits.

While we waited, we went to everybody's favorite spot: the touching pool! Courtney especially delights in all the live creatures to pet. Julianna got into it, too. I just had to keep her from DRINKING the water. There were starfish, sea anemones, and some other fish and shellfish to look at and pet.

Dorathy and Christopher hung out together in the older classes of dissection and sea ecology, while we tried to hang out with Courtney's class. Angel got bored, and Julianna was being a noisy distraction, so we had to leave.

We were blessed with incredibly warm and sunny weather for the beach. It was so nice, we decided to visit some beaches on the way home.

Here is the friendly local Pacific Red Octopus. We got to watch him eat his snack. It was pretty exciting. He gets a live crab in a jar. He sticks the whole jar in his mouth, unscrews the lid, and proceeds to inhale the crab's soft inner parts, while spitting out the shell. He uses his sharp beak and tongue to drill through the shell. Very cool.

We only stayed at the beach in Lincoln City for a little while. The water was crazy. The water was so high, it was scary. I'm used to going to the beach in July and August when the river is a little stream. On this day in March, however, the river was swollen with the winter rain. I didn't want my kids near it. I was sure that if they put their toes in they would be swept to their death. I was scared that I wouldn't be able to keep everyone safe, and so I told everyone we should pack up and leave. Christopher whined and complained and said he had just started building his sandcastle, the beach was only now getting exciting, and couldn't he have just 5 more minutes to finish it, please?

I reluctantly agreed to give him JUST 5 MORE MINUTES to work in the sand. I told him I'd get all the kids feet washed off, and as soon as they were buckled in the van, I'd wave to him from the car and he should come running. He happily agreed.

Well, I had just finished washing the girls feet and was buckling them into the van, when this little old lady came up to me and said, "Excuse me, but do you have another child by himself on the beach?"

"Yes," I said. "My son wanted to finish his sand castle. I'm just about to call him in."

"Oh, Dearie, she said, "Did you know that he was in the deep river and going deep in the water and it is so dangerous out there! You know....we lost him...he's gone.....lost...."

"WHAT?!?" I shrieked, hands over my heart. "Are you saying my son is gone? That he's......lost?!?"

(I don't think I've ever been so scared in my life. My heart was in my mouth, the world was spinning, and I was about to start screaming or wailing in a very inhuman way.)

"No, no, no, no, no.....you misheard me" reassured the old lady. "What I'm trying to tell you is that we lost a man....a grown man just yesterday. A grown man was pulled into the water by a sneaker wave and killed. And two boys have been lost and drowned on the beach this winter. Your son SHOULD NOT BE OUT THERE ALONE! The water has been very treacherous this year. Lots of sneaker waves....it is NOT SAFE out there."

A flood of relief washed over me, along with uncontrollable rage at being misled about my son's possible death. Still gripped with fear, I told her, "Stay here by the van and watch my girls, won't you?" And then I ran, my heart pounding in terror, to the beach where I searched in vain for a sign of my boy.

(I can't remember whether I left the van open with all my stuff hanging out, or if I locked the girls in the van...but if there had been a bad guy trying to kidnap my other kids while distracting me about the danger with my son, they may have succeeded. I just wasn't sane at this point. I couldn't think clearly. One mother can't keep 5 kids safe and close by as she should!)

Eventually I saw Christopher, soaked up to his waist, triumphantly striding towards me. "Mom!" He called. You've been gone longer than 5 minutes, it's been more like 2o! Where have you been? While you were gone, I forded the river twice! By myself! Aren't you proud of me?"

I Just clutched him to me, speechless, for a moment, trying to keep from breaking into uncontrollable sobs. "I'm so glad you're okay!" finally came out. He was just a boy! Who was I to trust his judgement so blindly! Of course the river was an irresistable temptation, I should never have left him for a second! I always make the mistake of expecting too much from my older children.

Christopher looked at me with a strange flush of delight on his face, loving all the attention. "You were scared for me? You thought I was gone? I was fine!!! I'm almost 12, I'm big! You don't have to worry about me! I'm safe, see?"

On the way back to the car, my whole body trembling with the adrenaline rush, I tried to explain to him that a 12 year old boy is nothing compared to the power of the Ocean. And that I had specifically forbidden him from going in the water while he was by himself. After telling him about the deaths this winter, I told him from now on, he was NEVER to be alone on the beach, not EVER and that it was my fault for allowing him to stay a few extra minutes. He protested, quite indignant at the perceived insult to his capabilities. But I insisted that until he was grown and gone, I didn't care how old or big he was, he was going to have to be within eyesight at all times!

After this incident, I talked with some other people, and they all agreed that the Ocean water was unusually turbulent and high this winter. A couple of times later when I drove by the water in the Spring, at high tide the water was hitting the seawall.

I wasn't able to bring myself to go back to the beach until just 2 weeks ago when Scott's sister, Lynita came for a visit. And even then, I was freaking out every time a kid was out of sight. At least on my last visit the river was much more reasonable! Still fast, but shallow enough for the big kids to stand in safely.

I always loved the beach as a kid, trips to the Coast were such a highlight. But as a parent, I now dread it. I want my kids to love it and have a good time, but I spend most of the time obsessing about their safety. Maybe I should strap life jackets onto them when we go to the Coast...just in case! But then I'd worry that they'd think they were safe and go jump in too deep!

Once you have three kids or more, this is a battle you just can't win. Especially when you have to take kids out lots of places by yourself without another parent to help out. There is only so much one person can do to watch everyone and keep them safe.

But I've learned my lesson....I will Never...Ever....Ever....leave any child on the sand by themselves again....even if they're a hundred yards from the water, even if it's only for 5 minutes!!!!