Headgates

I recently read an article that made my whole Paradigm shift! It's called Headgates because this essay relates children to water which is being channeled through irrigation ditches with the objective of watering a field to the very end.

Children are like water in that they will progress and move (learn) on their own naturally, no matter what we do to help or hinder them. Children learn, it's what they were designed to do. However, just as water takes the most natural course, the path of least resistance, so do most Children (just like us!) desire to get the most pleasure for the least amount of pain.

If you had a bunch of water that you wanted to direct into the field, and you left all the headgates open, you might get some water in your field, but it's not going to reach the end. That water won't do what you've been hoping and planning for. IF, however, you close those wrong headgates and channel the water's energy correctly, it will inevitably, unreservedly, and deeply irrigate that field.

The author of this article says,"These are those activities that you do not want your child to progress in, such as TV and video games. Wrong headgates include any and all activities that you would naturally make unavailable to yourchildren during a regular day."

Right headgates would be things like Classic books, raw materials instead of fancy battery toys, opportunities to work, and lots of free time to use their imagination.

Now, I didn't agree with everything in this article. The parents who wrote it were obviously much more radical in their child-rearing than I wish to be. But it inspired me to make some changes for the better. Most of all, I felt the pull to simplify my life and get rid of a bunch of stuff I really didn't need. In the two days after reading this article, I purged a lot of our junk. I packed up 85 to 90 % of my kids' toys and put them in the garage. I also packed up all the videos into the garage. The Dvds and Cd-roms were hidden for a while,too.

It took a while for my kids to even notice they were gone! They were having so much fun running around and playing in all the space! I noticed some interesting things that week. One, my kids really enjoyed our dog more! They gave her the affection she's been craving but rarely gets.

Secondly, the hundreds and hundreds of books that we own were getting pulled down by all the kids and looked at much more than normal. (my kids love to read, but now they had less distractions, and were getting to enjoy more books!) I noticed that my kids had a much easier time concentrating on their chores and schoolwork with less distractions. I found out they actually ENJOYED having their toys in the garage. Firstly, their rooms were now easier to clean up. Secondly, they think the garage makes a really cool playroom. ;) Our next house is definitely going to need to have a HUGE playroom/gameroom. They like knowing their toys are there if they want them, but we usually only pull them inside if a friend comes over to visit. Otherwise my kids just don't ask for them.

Best of all, I noticed a HUGE difference in the interactions in our family relationships. Our family was hanging out more. My kids were spending more time playing and imagining together. They were playing hide and seek, and lots of pretend games. We were spending more time together working, playing games, and doing family projects. I was finding more time to read and pursue my personal goals...until I got called to be Primary President! haha.

So in reading this enlightening treatise I had several Ah-HAH! Moments. Somethings I knew already, but were made more understandable by this essay's arguments.

1. We don't need that much STUFF. None of us do. It just clutters up our home, our minds, our time, and our hearts. Life is so much easier with less. It blesses us and everyone around us.... Simplify!!!

2. If I want to give something to my child, be sure it is a gift that keeps on giving. Things like swim lessons, a musical instrument, or knitting needles, sewing tools and art supplies.

3. If I want to be sure my child can do the hard work it takes to love good books and be a great scholar, then don't take away the opportunities for real-life earnest work. The more my kids learn to be responsible and work in our home environment, the easier it will be for them to apply those skills of self-discipline to scholarly work when they are older.

4. However we choose to spend our free time shows the world what stage of growth we're in. If all we want to do in our spare moments is play, we're in "core phase". If the majority of our free time is spent reading, we're in the "love of learning" phase. If we choose to spend the bulk of our discretionary time studying, then we are in "scholar phase." And if we are using our time to impact our family and community, then we are living our "mission".

5. Children need lots and lots of time to just be children, and the home environment is the best place to do that!

I'm enjoying watching my kids experience a GREAT childhood!