The Flush of Terror

We had some stressful excitement in my house tonight.

In the middle of trying to clean up after dinner, 4 year old Angel comes running into the kitchen, shrieking and crying as if she has just seen a monster. Now, when you are a Mom of 5 boisterous kids, you don't leap to any conclusions when one child is crying...it could mean anything.

But then six year old Courtney came running and screaming. "Help! Help! There's water everywhere!!!"

I sigh and throw down a dish towel, walking down the hallway, trying to stay calm.

It's just an overflowing potty...but I've never seen a potty overflow at such an alarming rate! Usually it's just a slow spill, and you have plenty of time to grab a plunger!

But this potty was CHUGGING it out like there was no tomorrow. There was already an inch of water all over the bathroom floor, and it was about to spill over onto the hallway carpet.

The older kids stood around and giggled. The younger kids were still screaming in panic like the world was about to come to and end.

Julie just thought the water park had come to her house to play.

This is when I wish I stored plungers in my bathrooms. (I don't because of the EEeewwww factor of having a toddler in the house who will grab and play with/chew on anything.) So I had to run to the garage and find one.

It was a total nightmare! It took me about 15 towels to soak up all the water. I'm so glad the kids came and got me right away. I can't imagine what would have happened if they hadn't. My deepest sympathy goes out to all the local people who had pipes burst during the deep freeze in December. I don't like plumbing issues!!!!

Angel told me the story of what happened later. In her words: "Courtney flushed the potty, but it wouldn't go. So I flushed it again...and then it just EXPLODED!"

Oh, shoot. Don't forget that Angel has a potty-phobia. She's the kind of kid who chooses to hold it in for hours on end and have an accident rather than use a potty that she perceives as "scary." After tonight, the kids potty has been demoted once again back to the scary side. (and we had been making such progress with using our home potties, at least!)

Angel said to me tonight, "I'm going to use your potty. Your potty is safe. It doesn't explode when you flush it. Aren't you glad? Thank-you for rescuing us tonight, Mom. You were so nice to rescue us!"

To Flush or Not to Flush....

Whoever invented the automatic toilets never had a potty-training 3 year old!

Several months ago, Angel was making great progress in potty training. She loved trying out new potties. At church, or at people's houses, she was very proud of herself using "the BIG potty" all by herself. I was certain that at last I would have a quick no-complications potty trainer child!

Then while at Homeschool P.E. (at Western Oregon University) She encountered her first automatic toilet. While sitting on it, the potty flushed 3 times in a row. It was so loud, and poor little Angel was TERRIFIED. I don't blame her! They scare me too! She was screaming and crying, totally confused. Then the next day we were at Winco, and she had to use the potty. Once again, an automatic toilet flushed spontaneously while she was sitting on it.

That was the last time she used the BIG Potty. She totally reverted to diapers for a while. She walked around saying "I'm little for diapers...I LIKE diapers!" I got tired of that quickly, since I knew she was perfectly capable of using the potty!

So we came up with a new idea. Even though she used the big toilet for months and could get on and off by herself, we took our little potty out of the attic, and Angel was thrilled. A nice, small, non-intimidating, comfy seat. I then discovered that as long as Angel's bottom was bare, she'd use her little potty all by herself without being prompted. But as soon as a pull-up, underwear, or bathing suit touched her skin, she treated it like it was a diaper and let it all loose!

So this is the summer gone BARE and Angel is going to be wearing a dress everyday. At least with a girl, you can be modest while doing that. We've been taking the potty with us in the car wherever we go. I'm just hoping that by the time cold weather comes around that she'll be ready for underpants.

Even my older girls hate the automatic potties. They'd rather hold it than use them. I get quite exasperated with them over that, because it's not helping Angel any. Angel won't even climb on the big potties at home. I despair that she'll be using the small potty till she's 8.

It's so funny, I heard Courtney say yesterday while we were using a portable potty "I like these kinds of potties best...they have no flush at all!"

Does ayone have any suggestions for helping kids who are scared of flushing? And what do you do when your 5 and 8 yr old kids refuse to flush the potty even at home? Just because they don't like it, they continually conveniently "forget" to flush.

Did the pioneers have a hard time potty training their kids? I guess their kids never had to worry about loud flushes! Maybe their kids instead where afraid of falling in the hole in the outhouse?

That brings up another potty memory. Once when Dorathy was 4 years old, we were at Christopher's soccer practice. She had to use the potty, and there were portable potties close by, so we went to use them instead of walking the long distance to the Aquatic center. Unfortunately, this potty was almost full. I have never seen a portable potty so close to the top! When I saw that, and smelled it, I was on the verge of losing lunch. I wanted to GET OUT and g0 walk to the aquatic center, but poor Dorathy had to go REALLY REALLY bad, so we tried to stick it out. I was pregnant with Angel, and Holding on to a toddler Courtney, and Dorathy then started to fall INTO the hole! I barely caught her, but she got into the nasty mess. Stop reading this if it is too graphic for you, I'll try not to get into the horrible detail, but let me just say, that we ended up going the aquatic center to clean all 3 of us up. It was a nightmare. Ever since then, even my older girls want me to help hold onto them when using the porta potties because no one else wants to fall in the hole!

I have just one word for that.....YUCK.

I totally caved

So I totally caved.

So much for all my high mindedness and soap box speeches and thinking I was above the psychology of behaviorism!

Angel decided she was interested in potty training again, and she was doing pretty good despite the occasional accident. One day, I could tell she really needed to go pee, but she was refusing to go on the potty, she just wasn't interested. It was temporarily unimportant.

Then I said it. "If you go pee-pee, you'll get a treat!" I was so shocked that that came out of my mouth, I literally turned around to see who heard me say it. All the older kids were staring at me (they know how I feel on this subject) they started to protest,"but Mom! You said..."

"I know what I said" I declared helplessly... "I've changed my mind!" In a moment of desperation, I sold my morals for a temporary quick-fix. Each kid is different though, maybe this time it will be a huge success and I won't regret it! (hope hope hope hope hope!)

Angel's eyes lit up, she happily went pee pee and then gleefully collected one jelly bean.

So now we have a potty chart above the toilet, and every time Angel goes #1 she gets a small sticker and a small treat. For two days she has gone potty 90% of the time in the potty and has even been wearing underwear! We haven't made any progress on #2 however, despite the bribes of a BIG sticker and a BIG treat.

Well, time will tell if this will work or backfire like it has in the past for me. So far, so good, though. Angel is pretty excited about all the hoopla. She's crazy about stickers, and it's making her feel pretty darn special that she is the ONLY one in the house getting cute little valentine treats. Older siblings are jealous of that, but older siblings also have money that they wasted away on trashy candy from the Dollar Tree....and then hoarded in their room refusing to share it with Angel.

Potty Training Trials

Last week in the middle of our household of sickness, Angel decided she wanted to potty train!

The first day she was amazing! She spent the whole day in underwear and didn't have any accidents. She was just so excited to do it all herself! It was amazing to watch. She even insisted on carrying the little potty cup to the big potty and flushing it all out herself.

I began to let myself have hope. Perhaps I would have one child who was easy to potty train? The kind of child who independently does most of it themselves?

Too good to be true.

She actually did pretty good that week, even though she had a few accidents everyday. I gave her lots of praise, and she loved all the attention. She loved wearing underwear. She loved how easy it was to take on and off herself.

But then the same thing occurred that has happened to every single of my potty trained girls. They discovered that it was WORK to have to sit on the potty. An INCONVENIENCE. They would rather play, eat, etc. than interrupt their day with a potty trip. And so because of this, Angel began having more accidents. Each day she regressed more and lost more interest in the potty. And just like my other girls, she discovered she liked the freedom and feel of the underwear, but she still wanted to treat them like diapers.

Now she hates diapers and only wants to wear underwear, but she has no interest in keeping them clean...so back to diapers she goes!

At this point I could bring out the potty charts and use all kinds of motivational rewards, but I'm really opposed to that kind of thing because in my experience, they just don't work in the long run. The kids get so focused on the reward, they can't concentrate on what they are suppose to learn. And several of my kids became potty trained temporarily for a big present or trip, and then went right back to regular accidents as soon as they had obtained their one time goal.

So right now, I think I'll just wait a while...wait until warmer weather so my child doesn't have freezing legs from sitting half naked on the potty all day. (our house is often quite chilly with heat only from a wood burning stove) Praise, attention, and the thrill of being a big kid should be enough motivation for any kid! The pioneer kids didn't have sticker charts, and they learned to use an outhouse just fine!

Angel is perfectly capable at this point in potty training herself with no help from me! I saw it that first day. So I'll wait, and hopefully she will become interested again sometime soon!

Dotson Potty Training History

When Einstein was 3 years old, we started potty training, and it took about 3 months to be completely accident free. I thought it a huge trial at the time, and was excited that my second child was a girl because I heard that girls were so much easier than boys. He did respond pretty well to a potty chart. He was eager to please, so it wasn't too hard. We went to the zoo to celebrate when he was 100% there. He has been my easiest kid to potty train so far, even if he did like to sneak away and hide behind doors to make his accidents. He outgrew that relatively fast.

With Louisa I discover the theory that girls are easier than boys a big pack of lies. I tried to start her at 2 1/2 because she was so far advanced in everything else, but she fought me hard (she loves power, and has to have complete control over her own life) so I gave her a break. I tried again at 3 yrs and it was just a horrible ordeal. She was so terrified of the potty, that it took 18 months till she was accident free. It was literally a nightmare. There were a couple of months where I felt like we couldn't even leave the house. I thought it would never end. We had a couple of medical problems in the meanwhile: she had to take regular medication and that did help a little bit. I learned more potty training tips than I ever wanted to know...and NONE of it worked with Louisa. She was beyond the books. At one point, I bought her a new care bear she was coveting, and I hung it from the ceiling. I told her she could have it when she was accident free for two weeks. Well she was, she got the bear, and then a few days later she regressed to the usual. It took months more to help her overcome her particular issues. I let her keep the bear, she had kept her side of the bargain, after all. I never told her she had to be accident free forever!

With Duckie, I thought she would be a breeze because she was always so in tune with her body. She was always the princess and the pea, so aware of the slightest problem to take offense at. She is still that way today. (Today she spent an entire hour crying because her black tights had a tiny hole over her toe and it bothered her) At first, she did terrific, like Louisa at the very beginning, but then it all went downhill. We had a year of drama and accidents. She wasn't fully potty trained till 4 years old. I got to the point where I made her clean up all her own messes and even start her own dirty laundry. That didn't even phase her. She just grew out of it when she was ready....and it took a horrible long time.

Angel....will she be easier than the last two? I hope so! You hear stories of kids who potty train themselves in one day with no accidents ever...and you have to wonder, are those kids real? What do you have to do to get a kid like that?