Potty Training Trials

Last week in the middle of our household of sickness, Angel decided she wanted to potty train!

The first day she was amazing! She spent the whole day in underwear and didn't have any accidents. She was just so excited to do it all herself! It was amazing to watch. She even insisted on carrying the little potty cup to the big potty and flushing it all out herself.

I began to let myself have hope. Perhaps I would have one child who was easy to potty train? The kind of child who independently does most of it themselves?

Too good to be true.

She actually did pretty good that week, even though she had a few accidents everyday. I gave her lots of praise, and she loved all the attention. She loved wearing underwear. She loved how easy it was to take on and off herself.

But then the same thing occurred that has happened to every single of my potty trained girls. They discovered that it was WORK to have to sit on the potty. An INCONVENIENCE. They would rather play, eat, etc. than interrupt their day with a potty trip. And so because of this, Angel began having more accidents. Each day she regressed more and lost more interest in the potty. And just like my other girls, she discovered she liked the freedom and feel of the underwear, but she still wanted to treat them like diapers.

Now she hates diapers and only wants to wear underwear, but she has no interest in keeping them clean...so back to diapers she goes!

At this point I could bring out the potty charts and use all kinds of motivational rewards, but I'm really opposed to that kind of thing because in my experience, they just don't work in the long run. The kids get so focused on the reward, they can't concentrate on what they are suppose to learn. And several of my kids became potty trained temporarily for a big present or trip, and then went right back to regular accidents as soon as they had obtained their one time goal.

So right now, I think I'll just wait a while...wait until warmer weather so my child doesn't have freezing legs from sitting half naked on the potty all day. (our house is often quite chilly with heat only from a wood burning stove) Praise, attention, and the thrill of being a big kid should be enough motivation for any kid! The pioneer kids didn't have sticker charts, and they learned to use an outhouse just fine!

Angel is perfectly capable at this point in potty training herself with no help from me! I saw it that first day. So I'll wait, and hopefully she will become interested again sometime soon!

Dotson Potty Training History

When Einstein was 3 years old, we started potty training, and it took about 3 months to be completely accident free. I thought it a huge trial at the time, and was excited that my second child was a girl because I heard that girls were so much easier than boys. He did respond pretty well to a potty chart. He was eager to please, so it wasn't too hard. We went to the zoo to celebrate when he was 100% there. He has been my easiest kid to potty train so far, even if he did like to sneak away and hide behind doors to make his accidents. He outgrew that relatively fast.

With Louisa I discover the theory that girls are easier than boys a big pack of lies. I tried to start her at 2 1/2 because she was so far advanced in everything else, but she fought me hard (she loves power, and has to have complete control over her own life) so I gave her a break. I tried again at 3 yrs and it was just a horrible ordeal. She was so terrified of the potty, that it took 18 months till she was accident free. It was literally a nightmare. There were a couple of months where I felt like we couldn't even leave the house. I thought it would never end. We had a couple of medical problems in the meanwhile: she had to take regular medication and that did help a little bit. I learned more potty training tips than I ever wanted to know...and NONE of it worked with Louisa. She was beyond the books. At one point, I bought her a new care bear she was coveting, and I hung it from the ceiling. I told her she could have it when she was accident free for two weeks. Well she was, she got the bear, and then a few days later she regressed to the usual. It took months more to help her overcome her particular issues. I let her keep the bear, she had kept her side of the bargain, after all. I never told her she had to be accident free forever!

With Duckie, I thought she would be a breeze because she was always so in tune with her body. She was always the princess and the pea, so aware of the slightest problem to take offense at. She is still that way today. (Today she spent an entire hour crying because her black tights had a tiny hole over her toe and it bothered her) At first, she did terrific, like Louisa at the very beginning, but then it all went downhill. We had a year of drama and accidents. She wasn't fully potty trained till 4 years old. I got to the point where I made her clean up all her own messes and even start her own dirty laundry. That didn't even phase her. She just grew out of it when she was ready....and it took a horrible long time.

Angel....will she be easier than the last two? I hope so! You hear stories of kids who potty train themselves in one day with no accidents ever...and you have to wonder, are those kids real? What do you have to do to get a kid like that?