The Eat-It-All

Some kids are a know-it-all, some kids are a take-it-all.

But Julianna?

She's an EAT-IT-ALL!!!

Earlier this summer, Julianna noticed that I would daily pick some lettuce from my little pots for a salad. She thought it looked like great fun, and wanted to pick them, too. She would SHRED my plants and make a big mess uprooting them. This made me very upset! There went all my fresh green salads! So I told Julianna, "Look, they are for EATING! Not for THROWING! See?" I demonstrated putting the lettuce leaves in my mouth and chewing them for her benefit. "Yummy Yummy leaves!!!" Julianna looked curious, and she immediately tried it out. But the first couple of times, she crumpled up her face and declared "YUCK" spitting it out.

Next week while Julianna was feeding Lucy her breakfast, this was what I found. Julie sat there and ate my lettuce, leaf, after leaf, after leaf....till it was ALL GONE.

Was she just hungry, or did it taste good to her? I don't know....But Now Julianna has decided that ALL plants are for eating, and I'm pretty nervous about the situation. She literally walks up to plants...any plants, and just begins eating off the flowers and leaves. I'm okay with it when it's the mint leaves in my yard...but now she's eating apple tree leaves! Every time she jumps on the trampoline, she grabs apple leaves off the tree and chews them up till they're gone. Hopefully there is nothing poisonous in our yard. I'm glad that she likes her vegetables and wants to eat them, but how am I to keep her safe? What if she grabs something inedible from a neighbor's yard and gets really sick?

I'm not sure how to handle this. Sometimes she eats weeds before I can get them out of her mouth. At least some of them are bitter, and she spits them back out. But what am I suppose to do, never let her play outside?

By the way, she doesn't eat greens when I give them to her, only when she is getting them for herself. She's mighty proud of her newfound talent.

She walks around my yard, grazing for edible food. I feed her, really, I do! She must be really excited about hunting and gathering on her own.

Courtney used to do that when she was little. She'd pull up Rhubarb and eat whole stalks of it. She also would pull up corn stalks and suck all the juice out of them. Crazy kids!

So at all the parks and playdates, I guess I'd better watch her like a hawk!

Julie's Close Call

In Spring when my Brother Matt came to visit me with his wife Holly and son, Isaac, we tried to go outside for pictures. As I was getting everyone set up and was about to take the photo, Christopher screamed, "Julianna is in the street, and a car is coming!" Of course, by then it was too late. Thankfully, the car saw her and stopped, and we were able to rescue her from the street. She had been right by me just a few seconds before.. it doesn't take long! My finger snapped the picture as I was dropping it to run to her. We all felt very grateful that she was okay. It was a purely frightening moment.

Happy Angel...sad Julianna....sigh...this is the normal state of things.....

Where did my baby go?

I've recently been struck with the heart-breaking realization that Julianna is no longer a baby. Where did my baby go? Now I have this sparkling, fun-loving, mischievous little girl. I love her SO much, but I also miss my baby!

I'm so used to having a baby around the house, that I occasionally forget there isn't a baby anymore. For example, I may be playing with Julianna outside, pushing her in the swing, and then my inner voice will say, "Go check on the baby!" and I'm looking for a baby car seat, or thinking of checking in the crib when I finally pause...oh!....there's no one there....Julianna IS the baby, and there isn't a baby to be cuddled, or fed or rocked. It is the oddest feeling, and I'm not sure what to think of it.

I'm beginning to think, in just one more year, there won't be anymore naps. No more diapers, no more baby stuff in the house. I get a surge of euphoric freedom as well as an indescribable sense of sadness and loss. What will I do with myself? I'm not sure, but I'm definitely not having another baby...at least not in the near future. I have all I can handle right now!

Julianna has been developing a better sense of communication. It is a blessing that she can always make her wants and wishes known...however, she still doesn't understand that just because she can say the word "Treat" doesn't mean we'll give her one!

Julianna has the whole family wrapped around her little pinky finger.

Julianna hates being cooped up in the house. She loves going outside. We have a little ritual. When I take her with me to get the mail, we go on a little walk. She runs down the sidewalk a block or two, with me following close behind, then I have to convince her to turn around, and then she walks back up to our house, examining every flower and bug on the way. If I let her get that 15 minutes of outside freedom, she is so much happier. Sometimes, however, I am not successful at persuading her to turn around. On those days I have to carry a kicking and screaming Julianna 2 blocks back up to our house. Not much fun.

All in all, it is a very exciting thing to watch your children grow up. There is always this thrill of anticipation, wondering, who will my child be next year? What will they be learning? What will they be like? What new talents and passions will be revealed?

And as they change, we continually mourn for the child that was, never to be again. I can never again rock Julianna as a baby, or behold my older children in their infant states. Their endearing charms and quirks and youthful voices will soon be only an impression in my memory. My son Christopher was only 5 when we moved here to Oregon, and now he is almost 12, a young man! I am beginning to feel the pressure of time, and the perishing wonder of childhood.

Forward: onward, and upward and into eternity!

I will cherish every moment, the sweet as well as the bitter, and remember that to a child there is no tomorrow, only today.

Thank-you, God, for my beautiful family and for entrusting me with 5 precious souls to raise and love!!!

Blueberry Girl

Julianna's most favorite food is frozen blueberries. When she runs and grabs a measuring cup, I know that is what she wants. She stands beneath the freezer and signs for "more berries!"

Here she is, after waking me at the crack of dawn. I gave her a bunch of berries hoping it would keep her quiet while I read scriptures. It makes her mouth turn all purple!

We're excited for blueberry season to come for read this summer! Scott planted 9 blueberry plants in our yard...but I told him, there is NO WAY we'll be getting any ripe berries! The kids are going to pick them and eat them while they're still crisp and green! Maybe if we terrace our blueberry area, we may will have some future hope.

There Was a Little Girl....

As many of you know, Julianna has been a challenging child for me. All of my kids have "strong personalities", but Julie is different. Strong-spirited doesn't even begin to cover it. I often feel like she's 5 kids worth of trouble and joy all wrapped up into one power-package.

The word my Mom uses for her is "INTENSE". Just as I've never had a kid who can scream like her, I've never had a child laugh like her either. The intensity runs both ways. She's like Anne of Green Gables...either she's in a euphoria of ecstatic joy, or she's down in the dumps, grumpy and fierce.

It's sad to say, but honestly, I never got to enjoy Julianna's Babyhood. It felt like one long screamfest. If she was ever happy or smiling, all my kids would say, "Look, Mom, Look! Julie is happy! Quick, get the camera!!!" It was such an unusual occurance. It's funny, I really assumed that because I had a gentle water birth, I was going to have this serene, calm child. Boy, was I disillusioned quickly!

I felt so bad for her, because all those days when she'd scream for 4 to 6 hours, I knew she was in pain...but there just didn't seem to be anything I could do about it. Nothing I tried brought much relief. I've had colicky babies before, but Julianna had true classic colic. From a few weeks old, till around 8 months , she'd often cry from 5 p.m. till 11 p.m. every night. (While Scott was at work and I had to put all the kids to bed by myself.) My life was a nightmare. I never got anything done. I never got to go anywhere. Our whole life revolved around trying to stay sane, and trying to keep Julianna as well as could be. I was blessed to have no church calling at this time. I needed a break! We were struggling to keep our heads above water and just take care of everyone's basic needs.

There was no rocking the baby peacefully. No putting her down in her crib or bassinet. She was never happy in the baby swing, jumper, or bouncy seat. She hated the bumbo seat so bad she would literally flop herself out it with violent screaming. She was only content if she was strapped to my body. She truly never slept once in her bassinet. I ended up using it to store clothes and diapers. She slept in my arms till she was 9 months old. She lived in a backpack, frontpack or sling. (Thanks, Amy!)

We had a huge celebration when we finally moved her to a crib. Julianna had some major developmental delays because of needing to be constantly held. I'm sure it was also because of her personality and being the youngest in the family. Julianna never crawled. She couldn't roll over until 1o months. She couldn't stand being put down or left alone. If she was ever left alone, (unless she was asleep) she cried till someone came to be right next to her. She didn't walk until almost 18 months. She was continually frustrated, and so were we! I came to accept that she was a very demanding child who NEEDED more from me than my other kids...and if your child truly needs something, you sacrifice anything to fulfill it! I figured if I could fill that need in her, perhaps she could grow up to be confident and happy instead of a needy adult who never got enough love and attention as a child.

This last year with Julianna has been SO SO wonderful! Once Julie could walk, a lot of her frustration and anger melted away. She loved her new-found independence. She was content to explore and master new skills. I felt my freedom coming back! People noticed her new joy in life, and often commented on her happiness to me. She's loved nursery. She's still very slow to warm up to strangers, and even close family members, but at least I'm seeing progress in that direction. *phew*!

Here is Julie throwing a fit when not getting her way on the Trampoline.

But now, alas, we are entering the terrible two's! My sweet dimple-cheeked daughter has quite a temper! None of my other kids have perfected the art of throwing a fit so young. I was so shocked the first time Julianna did this, but now it is a regular occurance. The first time Julie was having a fit, I thought ignoring her might work. So I walked away from her to go chop vegetables for dinner. But she FOLLOWED ME, rolling on the floor till she was near enough to kick me. So, I just calmly walked away from her to work on dinner, and she followed me again, just so she could kick me! That's when I realized I was in trouble! I've tried holding her, singing to her, and trying to calm her when she has fits, but it doesn't do anything to reach her. So now when she has a meltdown, I always put her in her crib, and that has helped curb her fits a little. She feels like it's her "safe zone". But when she's having a bad day, sometimes I feel like she spends more time in her crib than out of it!

Julianna here was trying to hit me for taking her picture when she wanted OFF NOW!

When Julianna doesn't get her way, she might hit, kick, yell, bite, pinch, or pull your hair out from the roots. She will throw things at your head...hard. One time she slapped me right across my cheeks and left a mark. She may bang her head, or roll around on the floor. Now that we've changed our floors from rugs to laminate, she's discovered that hard floors don't feel good. Tody I saw her walk to the rug, and then collapse for her screaming party...hilarious.

I feel bad for my other kids, because she really beats up on them. They've been taught not to fight back, but to tell her "No" or "Soft" While I put her in a time-out, but I get tempted sometimes to tell them to defend themselves, especially when Julie goes crazy in the car. She has pulled out so much of Angel's hair! One time Angel had had enough of the abuse Julie was giving her in the car on a long drive home, and she began hitting Julie back. Did Julie cry? No. Did she stop? No. She LAUGHED...she acted as if she liked it. She thought it was a game.

Now we're having some tough times again because she has re-entered the clingy phase. Some days, she can't stand to be more than 2 inches from me. She grabs my finger and pulls and yells, "Come On!" and takes me where she wants to go. I think I'm beginning to understand just how they youngest child of a family can get SO spoiled! The rest of the family will do anything...ANYTHING....just for some peace!

Julie use to like baby movies, and I loved that Baby Einstein could give me 3o minutes to work on a needed household project. But they've lost their charm! I think they bore her and she just wants to be up and DOING! It's wonderful that she's so engaged in her environment. She's always exploring, making messes, taking things apart. I love that she's talking in complete sentences now. She can express herself, and make her wishes on almost anything known. Her current biggest frustration is that she wants to be a BIG kid like her older siblings, but she can't do what they do yet. And they often don't want to play with her when they think she'll ruin their game. It's a difficult issue, but the older kids are being really good sports about taking turns with her and spending time playing with her.

Julianna loves to scream, loud and high! When she's around people with hearing aids, they often have to turn them off. I tell people all the time, "Julianna just loves to scream. It doesn't matter if she's happy or sad...she screams because she likes it." For example, if I'm blowing bubbles, she shrieks in delight. And when I stop blowing bubbles, she yells "more" in impatience. I'm sure you get the picture! I've been having ringing problems in my ears lately, and I've been wondering if part of it stems from her continual yelling close to my ears.

I've found the perfect rhyme that matches Julianna's personality:

There was a Little Girl

Who had a little curl

Right in the middle of her forehead.

And when she was good,

she was very, very good...

But when she was bad,

She was Horrid!

Here is Julianna doing one of her most favorite things: getting into Mommy's Jam. She sure had a good time! This time around I took some picture before cleaning up the mess.

mmmmm......tasty!

Julianna adores the bunnies in our yard. She holds and pets them, declaring in a solemn tone, "Soft, Soft!" In this picture, I had just moved the cage onto fresh clean grass. I put her in the cage, and its hilarious to see her sit there with the bunnies in her lap while she feeds them bits of greens. Julianna loves all animals, but cats are her favorite.

Just because Julianna has her difficult moments and days, doesn't mean that she's not a very happy, sweet, energetic, mischievous little girl! We do enjoy her very, very much. She has us all wrapped around her little fingers, that's for sure. She is the light of our lives. I think it naturally follows, that we value our relationships even more when they cost us a high price. Raising Julianna so far has been difficult, and it doesn't look like it will get any easier anytime soon, but all the work and sacrifice makes our children all the dearer to us.

Here we are enjoying a nice swing by the raspberries. Julie loves to swing in my lap while I sing to her the song from "A Child's Garden of Verses". It's one of her favorite songs. I have a video of me singing it to her in the swing, but I don't know how to load videos on the blog. Julianna, like our other kids, sings all the time. When she's happy, she's singing, laughing, and screaming in joy...and when she's not happy, well, she's just screaming.

HOW do you like to go up in a swing,
Up in the air so blue?
Oh, I do think it the pleasantest thing
Ever a child can do!
Up in the air and over the wall,	5
Till I can see so wide,
Rivers and trees and cattle and all
Over the countryside—
Till I look down on the garden green,
Down on the roof so brown—	10
Up in the air I go flying again,
Up in the air and down!

A real bad SCARE

We had a really scary experience at my house tonight.

Saturday is bath night at my house. We like squeaky clean kids for Sunday morning!

Julie and Angel had both had their baths, been dried and dressed. Courtney and Dorathy were in a really deep bath. I told them the water was too deep, and asked them to lessen it. Later on, they were wrapped in towels, in the bathroom getting dressed.

Then I realized we were almost out of firewood. It was getting late. It was the kids bedtime, and I needed Christopher's help to get more wood in the house before he was in pajamas too. So Christopher and I went out to grab 25 logs of wood.

As soon as I walked back in the house from getting wood, I felt a bad feeling. Dark, heavy and oppressive. Urgent. Like someone was in danger. I saw the older girls out in the living room playing, all dressed in their Jammies. But I saw no Julianna. Then I knew why I was afraid. I was sure the big girls had not drained the bathwater.

"Did you girls leave the bathroom door open?" I shouted. (There is a HUGE rule in my house that bathroom doors must be shut at all times for Julie's safety...also because she loves to play in the toilet and drink the water....eeeewwww)

I ran into the kids' bathroom in a panic. I heard splashing as I went around the corner. In the bathroom I saw Julianna in the deep bathwater, totally immersed on her belly, flailing around uncontrolably. If she had stood up, she'd be okay. But there was too much water, and she was floating, head underwater. I swept up my soaked, choking baby, dripping water all over the floor, blindly grabbed a towel to wrap her in and began shouting and crying, "My baby was drowning! My baby was drowning!"

I was shaking in fear and relief for a long time. I covered Julianna in kisses while she screamed. I don't think she got water into her lungs. Her fearsome howls were proof of that. She seemed allright once I got her warm, dry and dressed again.

Thankyou, God, for saving my baby tonight!

I am so grateful for the Gift of the Holy Ghost, that let me know immediately that something was wrong. When it comes to drowning, a few seconds can make all the difference.

I am so unspeakably grateful that I get to spend tonight cleaning house and making plans for our family gathering tomorrow instead of dealing with heartbreaking sorrow and funeral plans.

I think that I won't be letting Julianna out of my sight in any future bath nights.

Tick Tock Girl

Julianna is obsessed with clocks. She LOVES clocks. It all started a few months ago when she began to be unhappy in Sacrament meeting in church. To keep her happy, but to keep my sanity, we'd go to the primary room where I could still hear the talks on the speaker.

In order to amuse her, I'd point to the clock and make a ticking noise. She loved it so much, she began demanding it over and over. Then she began noticing clocks everywhere. Now, she can make the ticking noise by clicking her tongue on the roof of her mouth. I was surprised when she figured out how to do that so young!

She looks for clocks in every room in the house, and in every store. She has her own "sign" for clock. And she's fascinated that Courtney has a Bird clock with birds instead of numbers.

She loves it when I take the clock off the wall so she can watch the second-hand go around up close. It never fails: if she's upset or mad, all I have to do is put a clock or timer next to her hear, and she'll immediately quiet down so she can hear the ticking noise. It's hilarious. That tells me how much of her crying is wailing is for attention. What a show!

I'll need to get a watch that has a second hand and ticks so I can have portable amusement for her. I sure wish I'd had something like that at JC Penney's today. I forgot a stroller or backpack for my toddler, and it was a nightmare. Julianna threw a royal tantrum, screaming, headbanging, the whole works....all because I kept stopping her from throwing all the clothes she could find into the aisle. She bruised her cheekbone on a clothes shelf, and nearly gave herself a black eye. It was quite dramatic. And for those of you who have heard Julie cry, you know she REALLY knows how to scream into those upper registers. She discovered at a very young age that the louder and shriller she screams, the faster she gets results. My girl has a TEMPER.

I dream of someday going to the mall...or any store for that matter, BY MYSELF! Someday.

Julie Is Walking!!!

"Mmmm....so this is what Mommy keeps in the buckets!"

"Mommy thinks its really really gross when I eat so many blueberries that
I have poo the color of smurfs."

Now that Julie has discovered that Mom keeps FOOD in buckets...she is always trying to open them! She got into the sugar bucket a few days ago and was EXTREMELY mad when we took her away from it! Julianna is a berry maniac. Her favorite activity of the Summer is to sit on the trampoline in the backyard while everyone feeds her berries.

Julianna is now walking! Or as we call our newly walking & talking babies: Walkie-Talkies!

She's really been able to walk for over a month, but she has no confidence in herself. She is very clingy, and is usually only happy to walk if she's holding on to one finger. She'd walk across the room if she were walking to and from Family members.

But yesterday, I got her to walk around Great-Grandma Alice's apartment! It was so exciting! She is so skilled she could turn and weave around toys! I thought she'd just get up running today, but she's still the clingy, anxiety filled child who only wants to walk if I'm hovering over her every second.

Well, at least I know she can walk...really really walk if she feels like it!!!

Progress for Julie!!!

Julie finally learned how to sit up by herself! And then 2 days ago, she at last figured out how to pull into a stand up position!

Julie may be almost 14 months old, but she has been very delayed in learning some basic large motor development skills. I've been worried about her safety, since she refused to crawl and hates being on her tummy. But in June she learned how to scoot on her bottom. And now over the last 2 weeks she's figured out how to push herself up into a sitting position. That made it so for days she couldn't take a nap. She'd sit up and then couldn't figure out how to lay back down! I'm so pleased that she's learned how to pull up at last. Not on everything, but she's making good progress. Now she just needs to figure out how to stand up herself without anything to pull up on, and she'll be ready to learn to walk! I still hope that she'll learn how to crawl for real.

Julianna can walk by herself. She can walk at least 20 steps with no help whatsoever, but she's usually too terrified to try it. She'll walk if the thinks I'm holding on to her. It's because she still doesn't know how to fall or catch herself. She falls like a stiff tree and bonks her head. So sad to see! I've got to work on that with her before she gets badly injured! But at least I no longer have to worry that she'll drown in 1 inch of water just because she can't push herself up.

The hard part on me now, is that Julianna is almost never happy. She's filled with continual anguish that she can't get up and move well on her own. It's driving us all NUTS! She pretty much cries ALL DAY LONG unless I'm holding her hand and walking her all over the place, inside and out. She wants to steer me, and she throws a fit if I don't go where she wants. Unfortunately, her fits involve throwing herself backwards and banging her head.

Julie sees the Doctor for her 1st year check up this week. I wonder if he'll want to put her in therapy, or if he'll say her development is within the normal range.

Julianna's First Birthday part 2

On Memorial Day, one day after Julianna's birthday, we had a big BBQ at my Mom and Dad's house. I had brought a HUGE costco cake (that Dorathy picked out) so the whole extended family could celebrate her birthday with us. Even my Aunt and Uncle from California were there!



First of all, I forgot all her presents! I know she didn't care, she wouldn't know the difference, but I felt mortified that she wasn't going to get any presents at her own party. I had finally bought her some cute leather shoes (like robies, but less costly) since her cute little chubby baby feet are too fat for normal shoes. I am so grateful for them! I bought several pairs in different sizes, and they are worth every penny. I just wish I had gotten them for my earlier babies. I was going to show them off to everyone, and give them their first go on Julianna's feet. Oh, well, Julianna got to enjoy them the next day. I let all her siblings open her presents for her.
Well, poor timid Julianna didn't enjoy her birthday celebration very much. Despite a nice long nap, she was weirded out at being in an unfamiliar place. Just like all of my other girls, Julie is a "homebody" and a "Mama's Girl" She likes only being HOME and only being held by MOMMY (and sometimes Daddy). She doesn't like aunts, uncles, cousins, and hardly tolerates grandma and grandpa.

So when family members wanted to wish her a happy birthday, if they even got close to her, talked to her, or tried to take a picture, she freaked out and screamed in terror.

Poor baby spent the entire birthday song crying! She wouldn't even touch her cake! I tried to get her to try it, thinking that if I put a little frosting on her lips she's calm down and enjoy herself. But I underestimated Julianna's uptight, hyper-sensitive personality. She cried and refused to be comforted until I took her out of the house and got her away from all the people as excitement. It was just too much for her. :(

Grandma did have a present for her (so at least she had one thing!) She gave her a teddy bear that claps its hands and lights up while chanting the "pat-a-cake" nursery rhyme. That calmed her a bit. She loves that bear!

After about an hour, as the kitchen was mostly empty, Julianna was finally brave enough to try and eat a little cake. But she still cried and clung to me in desperation if anyone got too close to her to even talk to me. Poor thing! And poor Grandpa and Grandma, who have hardly got to hold their 20th grandchild for more than 30 seconds at a time!!!


Here's to hoping that Julianna will have a much happier 2nd birthday!!!